Forget. Accept. Remember. Thanks.

well, today is just a simple day... oh ya, ABNORMALLY i slept till 4.00pm... break my own records!! haha... so now, seem like my morning although now is already 6.30pm in the evening... again~ boring... haha...

i went to take a look at my friend's blog... so jealous... they went to a lot of place... seem like they had took a WORLD TOUR... haha... well, im not bad too... i took a HOME TOUR... travelled all the corner of my house... i found it was a simple trip... haha... i am getting insane...

besides, i went to see my older post in here... i found that i was so emo... haha... anyway, i still cant control my emo... hehe... those older post inspired me to write something... so, i decided to write this something and give this something a name, "Forget. Accept. Remember. Thanks."...

throughout this whole year, i met problems... *of course*... so after i recalled all the problems... i learnt to forget and accept... that "thing" which had happened not long ago... before our PMR... had just washed off by time... as time past, i found that isn't that hard for us to forget something and accept the fact...

maybe the problems had tortured us... but if the problems didn't exist... i may don't know what is forget and accept... as i am an emotional person... i don't know why that time he wanted change... but now i finally understand the reason...

everyone will be changing at an age or anytime... we can't control that change but we can accept the change... accept it and get use to it... forget the bads, remember the goods... this is the easiest way to solve something although it's difficult for us at first... not to hurt anyone, forget and accept is the best... accept who he/she is now... 

on the other hand, remember and thanks... this whole short year, for me is short, 'cause time flies as i spent my time with my beloved friends, best friends, best family ever and never... maybe next year i will be in the same class with them... but at least, i had been with them at least a year... somebody told me that distance may not be the reason for friendship to get farer and farer...

but for me, anything will be the factor... everything... heart. time. distance..... once when a person have forgetten you, you will be a nothing for her/him... once time past, we will lost the time we can communicate or spend time with... once distance get farer and farer, friendship will get farer and farer as well...

at first, i tought that i will be alone at that class since i didnt have any friends... but slowly, i got to know these tremendously good friends... they are so damn good... haha.. though sometime we may had some problems... but at last, we solved what...

so, i am worrying whether i will be in the same class with them or not... but, i wanna thank them... they brought me happiness, warmth... 

THANK YOU, FRIENDS... ESPECIALLY... YOU WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE... THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES OF THE WHOLE YEAR... THANKS~~!!! 

this is why i write this something... haha... to thank my friends for being good to me... forgive everything i had done wrong... thanks for being my good, best friends...!!! THANKS A LOT!!! you will know who you guyz are if you are close to me... don't deny that you are that "who you guys are"... 'cause you guys have been become that "who you guys are" in my deep deep heart long time ago... be confidence... hehe :o)

(p.s: don't be to touch... haha... *perasan fish*) 

难忘的一天。

“每个人都有难忘的一天。我也不例外...” 这个开头，应该会常常在作文里发现吧。。。虽然有点俗气，不过，也还瞒好用的。。。

早上呢，就没什么咯。。。就有平常我爱去的华乐。。。今天的练习也还算普通，没什么特别的事情。。。

下午呢。。。也没什么。。。花一些时间，执行被派到的任务。。。过后，就和周公的儿子约会，因为在晚上，我得出席一个叫我为难的宴会。。。

哈！重点来了。。。晚上。。。这晚上。。。就是在今年的第一次。。。献给了今天。。。14.12.2008。。。我重来都没有穿过裙出席公众场合耶。。。我的天呀。。。

就从睡觉过后开始说起吧。。。老爸叫了我起床。。。然后，就去冲个凉。。。过后，换上我不想换上的服装。。。就是裙。。。认识我的人都懂，我呀，就是不喜欢穿裙。。。就因为这样我妈常常怀疑我的性别。。。哈哈。。。她说，她生了个女儿，等于生了个儿子。。。没有办法嘛。。。这或许是我的性格。。。就觉得太女生了啦。。。裙耶。。。我穿裙就等于像流星一样。。。几千几百年才出现一次。。。哈哈。。。我的家庭成员们（包括里里外外的）都应该懂吧。。。

好吧。。。说到这晚宴。。。为什么我会说它让我很为难呢？就是因为它是个formal dinner。。。女生都得穿裙。。。海。。。这晚宴是我校的学生团契举行的。。。我*indirectly*的大哥，（叶子）、我弟，（恐龙）、我儿子, （大熊）都是这社团的其一会员。。。听说他们也是委员之一哦。。。他们好心邀请我们去。。。（“我们”包括我，小猫，猴子，绿茶）。。。我、绿茶和小猫平时什么都没默契。。。就是我们不爱穿裙的“好味”相投。。。不过，她始终穿了裙，也看开了。。。除此之外，还穿了高跟鞋呢！！在下女侠，佩服~佩服~

本来，我们是打算要吓吓恐龙、叶子和育豪。。。因为我们并没有告诉他们我们有出席。。。不过叻，不懂做么他们会懂，就没什么惊喜。。。cerh~不好玩的。。。哈哈。。。让时光倒流一会儿，正当我们还在车里时，绿茶和猴子一直在作弄我。。。说什么我穿裙子哦~~ 几欠扁几下的咯~~ 害我不知所措。。。我妈帮“外”不帮亲哦。。。联合他们一起来欺负我，真没良心的。。。哈哈。。。*够力*

当我们进到那间饭店时，你可知道我有多么的紧张。。。不懂为什么。。。就或许我真的没有穿裙出席过任何的晚会吧。。。所以觉得不是很舒服。。。上了二楼，签了名，到了座位，对于我这只适应能力中等的鱼来说，过了一会儿，我就好多了。。。看见大熊，穿着可说是西装的他，真的有点不习惯咯。。。也许因为没看过吧。。。剩下的都还瞒ok的。。。哈！对！差点忘记说，当晚还有对“父子挡”哦。。。猜猜看~~

就是我们的恐龙，恐爸爸和他的儿子叶子，叶儿子啦。。。哇。。。他们真的好父子哦。。。哈哈。。。可能是因为行为与服装上的差别吧。。。真怀疑他们上一世是不是父子啊？？超像得耶。。。*标准*当晚，每个人穿的都还不赖哦。。。江东子弟多才俊，“江西姐妹多美艳”。。。本鱼就例外啦~~  呵呵

可是，育豪却emo emo 的。。。我们可爱的叶大哥说他在耍自闭、耍帅喔。。。我也不懂。。。或许他已经安静惯了。。。也许是件好事啦。。。因为。。。我们已经够吵闹了，如果加上他，后果不用用不堪设想，就用后果不想就懂来形容吧。。。哈哈。。。 

还有哦。。。我要投诉！！！哇，今晚可真差点血压过高，休克进院。。。罪魁祸首少不了“父子挡”，更少不了那对“姐妹花”。。。口才“极好”的他们把我suan得够力又够力。。。几欠扁几百下的。。。哈哈。。。不过，没关系，这次绕了他们。。。下次，应该不会输了啦。。。我应在家练练我的“金妙丹”。。。以后， 见到他们时，就可吞一粒，让我的功力增进百倍。。。哇咔咔咔。。。那时，可别叫我绕了你们哦。。。哈哈。。。本鱼不发威，把我当病鱼了是不是？？哈哈。。。

过后叻，在结束之前，他们就有个小合唱。。。脸皮厚到就连机关枪都打不进的叶大哥，不停的叫他们邀请他。。。厚~~果然，好了。。。这次他甘愿了咯，他唱了后，结果外面真的下起绵绵细雨咯。。。给我猜中了。。。并果！！更惨的是，大熊还跟我们这几个冬瓜邀歌哦。。。这下可惨了。。。我们又不是这社团的人。。。我们怎么会唱这些歌呀~~ 难道他要我们就像个傻番薯一样，在台上拍拍手、对对嘴？？哇~哈哈。。。怎么可能？？在上面给人看着，就像在动物园，我们是耍杂技的。。。哈哈。。。不行啦。。。我们被人看是可要换钱的哦。。。以秒计费。。。哈哈。。。开玩笑。。。

最后，绿茶说她的两位“私家司机”（她的爸妈）带着她的南瓜车到了，所以我们得向饭店挥挥手、到个别。。。我们的依依不舍让我们留下了热泪。。。（没有这样感动、夸张啦。。。哈哈。。。今天讲话有点sot sot的，电线结错，机器故障。。。paiseh。。。）

今晚的宴会，还好啦。。。就当它是与朋友聚会喽。。。还瞒开心的。。。这是我第一次的经验哦。。。我认为它是个美丽又好玩的经验咯。。。充满着欢乐。。。虽然那大熊，耍帅又hao lian 没有采我们*开玩笑*，不过没关系。。。他有工作在身。。。就当他吃亏，没和我们闹在一起。。。哈哈。。。就写到到此为止吧~~ 现在已是早上接近5时了。。。得找周公的儿子下下棋、喝喝茶、聊聊天、说说地。。。拜了~~

给朋友们一些话：

我写了酱多。。。你们该不会连些许的comment也没有吧。。。尤其是那些被我bold的名字的朋友们。。。写写几个字嘛。。。至少让我的部落格感觉上有人看。。。没有的话，很像我一直写都没人有反应。。。自言自语、自问自答。。。别害我中忧郁症啦。。。哈哈。。。看我酱好帮你们吹销你们的美丽的大名。。。你们应该感到幸运有这么好的朋友。。。珍惜点吧。。。哇咔咔咔咔。。。 =P

（p.s:尤其是可爱那父子挡。。。哈哈。。。）

执著。

人生犹如河水般，流向大海，不逆流。。。大海有时会有小小的破浪，难免会有大大的巨浪。。。就和人生的真理一样。。。这些被命名为小浪、大浪的，就是我们在路途中的绊脚石啦。。。这些小石子，有时绊我们跌倒、坏了我们的好事。。。但，它们何尝不是一种让我们成长的东西呢？？

问题来了，遇到这些大大小小的问题时，我们应该执著呢、还是放手？？

执著，往往害了不少人掉入那深渊的黑洞。。。让他们找不回从前的自己。。。那时的我们就会问问自己，为何我要那么执著？？执著不肯放手让自己好过一点呢？？

执著呀，就是个可怕的恶魔。。。

天天翻开报纸，少不了许多为情自杀的新闻、抢劫夺命案。。。这些命案的罪魁祸首何尝不是执著？？就拿为情自杀吧~被情人给甩了，人啊，还一直死缠烂打、执著着旧情人。。。这岂不是自己找苦头往自己的嘴巴里塞吗？？到最后，却以死字来解决自己、惩罚自己。。。对一时冲动的你来说，或许就没想那么多。。。只希望旧情人回来看你一眼， 要回以前未完的情感。。。对待自己的方式，会不会差了一点啊？？还有，被报纸登了为情自杀的新闻，每个人只会不停的骂你傻。。。值得吗？

稍微不严重的是，有时，人一直执著于旧情人。。。一直不肯放下心里那永远都打开不了的结。。。这让两人无法好好的再面对对方。。。这还会伤了对彼此的感情。。。这执著就有点扮演着“自私”。。。不让别人走入他的心里，一直抱着那道门不放。。。对彼此造成最大的伤害。。。这很好吗？

不妨，打开胸膛、放下执著。。。听听音乐、看看世界。。。或许你就能找到开启那困难之门的钥匙、找到更完美的解决方式呢？就这样的好好对待自己，不就是人生一大秘诀吗？？

我们来看看抢劫夺命案。。。有时，因为人的执著害了自己，断送了一条宝贵的生命。。。看！如果我们被抢劫时，我们一定第一件会做的事情就是给抢匪打斗一番。。。不让他攫夺你任何的财富。。。说到这里，我发现，人的执著往往原于财富。。。你难道就执著，为了那几分几豪，和他们赌上你的命。。。赢了，就算你幸运。。。假如你输了呢？？你不但赔上自己的性命，还失去了你最在乎的钱财。。。岂不是“命财两失”？？切记钱财乃是身外之物呀。。。

看吧~ 执著是不是个大恶魔？？它随时随地、悄悄的侵袭你的心灵。。。因为不坚定的思绪，所以给这该死的恶魔给动摇。。。执著着自己认为对的道理。。。执著着自己的孤僻。。。害得我们有时会与世隔绝。。。但是，说到这里，

忽然，觉得这执著也不是每天都扮演着剧里的坏角色， 有时它还挺好的哦~

例如，我们有时就应该执著的抱着梦想不放。。。完成未走完的旅途。。。有时，就因为我们不够执著，所以被那些恶言损语给破坏了。。。这些梦想就不翼而飞。。。此时的执著，可说是扮演着“坚定”的角色。。。我们应该把“坚定”和“执著”互相并用，以创造出世间最完美的人生谱谣。。。

哎~~ 执著呀，执著~ 你究竟是个什么东西？摸不着你的心机、你的行踪。。。

或许。。。执著就像烹饪里头的酱油吧~ 适当的时候，我们就应该“放任而下”酱油，让食物更为完美。。。但，有时，我们却得看清食物里头的酱料，看看我们需不需要放它。。。

因此，我们应该慎思，几时该执著、几时不该执著~ 把他人与自己的伤害减到最低。。。体恤别人的心。。。这能让我们更能懂得体谅别人。。。不捆绑别人。。。让他们好好的飞。。。看了，自己不就会好过一些吗？

给一直都在执著的朋友：

打开心房，放下执著！！好让更多的人走进你心里的秘密花园。。。 一起谱出一首曲子高调、轻快的歌吧。。。让花园里的花儿快活的生长。。。化不完美为完美。。。 让世界存有温情、更温馨 。。。

Options of life...

it's time for me to choose... choose to way to which road... is it the left or the right?? someone keep on asking me to choose the left... but she said that, for my own good, i shouldn't just give up the right... since already been two years and maybe there will be the third year... should i choose to give up?? 

it's time for me to choose only ONE... not two... there shouldn't be TWO... you cannot be such greedy to have TWO in one time... I don't know which one I should choose... which one?? which one??? can anyone help me?? I hate to choose my two beloved...

they are the things which is one of the support of my life... they are the force which push me to achieve higher in everything... to be better... to change from worst to good... but i don't i can be the best of all... 'cause i am not suitable to be classified in the group of best... i cannot be the best... 

result is going to be announced soon... i don't know whether i can achieve what i want... i don't think i can anymore... there is not much hope... what i affraid of is... when the result is out, and i realised i don't achieve what i want... i may change... 'cause i am totally dissapointed with myself... i scare this change may cause lots of things to happen... i may lost my beloved friends... 

'cause sometimes, i just can't control myself from changing... i hope when i really change, my friends will understand me... although they may not understand what is the reason for me to have this big change.... i still hope that they will not be hurt by me... hehe... this is only my prediction...

many friends asked me... why i care so much for my PMR's result?? why??? it's only a PMR... there is still SPM... but i can tell you why... because i had done my very best for my PMR... i did hardly for it... maybe i did not did well in the exam... but my expectation of myself is very high... and because we can only have this PMR exam once in the life time... if you score badly in that, you will be very regret why you didn't did well on it... this is my thoughts... 

maybe some of my friends can't accept my weird concept... but i still can't change my own concept of this... *winks* hehe... well, today why i wrote this "Option of Life"... because i have to choose something... this little thing make my headache... i choose this one... i feel like i cant give up another one... this thing making my brain almost burst... haiz... 

hm... maybe i still need time for me to make my decision... i will not give up both now... i will still walking down with both of them... never give up... maybe this tiring me... but still i will... for them i will... hehe... i willing to do everything... 

There are many options in life,

Everyone are born to choose options,

Whenever you choose a good option,

You can enjoy the rest of your life.

Good options are for us to choose,

Bad options are for us to reject,

Try our best to choose,

Look clear to reject.

When you are tired of choosing options,

Take it easy,

Stop our steps,

And take a rest..

Before i go, hehe, this is for Dino... "Hey, not bad wor you... you had updated yourself, visiting my blog... haha... not bad not bad... at least, you wont ketinggalan zaman la...~~ hahaha... =P... of course, some of my post have to be funny ma... otherwise, you want all my post be emo emo de??? no way... sometimes i cant control myself to be high .... hehehe... " BYE~!! sora!~

兴奋的一天。。。

前天，我去了林宇中的前场会哦~~哇，那天简直很爽！！不过，很遗憾的是，我们本来可以做到很好、很前的位置。。。不过因为那票的人迟到，还我们只好远远的看。。。*遗憾*海~ 哈哈。。。虽然当天，他有点小小的感冒，不过，他也没让我们失望，大展歌喉~。。。他长得很好很好看~唱完四首歌曲（《干物女》、《远远》、《改嫁》和《靠岸》）后，他就跟歌迷们玩游戏。。。还有还有，MYFM的DJ，文康也连同宇中到现场哦。。。他做司仪。。。他说话都得我们好开心哦。。。然后，签名会就开始了。。。我带着兴奋的心情、轻浮的脚步，手拿着宇中的专辑开心地排队。。。我那时的心情简直可用“笑得合不拢嘴”来形容。。。太开心了。。。我的第一次的经验耶。。。哈哈。。。超级开心的。。。过后，他拿了我的歌词本签上他的美丽的大名。。。预料之外，他和我握手耶!!!!哇。。。。。~~哈哈。。。你能想象我有多开心呀。。。我还想我过手后，我以后就不用洗我的左手了。。。哈哈。。。我简直疯了。。！！ 过后，拍了几张照后，就带着依依不舍的心情回家了。。。多想呆在舞台看他、握他的手到我满意为止。。。因为那一秒满足不了我。。。哈哈。。。相信很多歌迷都会说，“别做梦了！！那是不可能！！！轮到我都还没轮到你啦~”哈哈。。。我开心的冲晕了脑嘛。。。不能怪我。。。哈哈。。。希望下次还能在看到林宇中回来古晋咯。。。这次的经验超级珍贵的。。。那天简直爽爆了！！“我来为你拆墙，拆得满城荒凉，久违的凉爽，喝我我炖的热汤。。。。”哈哈。。。太兴奋了。。。  就说到这里吧，别了！！！~~

（p.s:我就传上几张我那天拍的照吧~~我的座位很后，所以拍到不是很清楚，对不起喽~）

可爱的文康~

~林宇中~

当文康与宇中在聊天~

近距离拍到宇中~~签着名的他~

忙得很开心又很累的一天。。。

昨晚，因为要给老爸弄些东西，所以就迟睡了一点。。。应该是很迟啦。。。哈哈。。。今天一早，就得醒来，准备和华乐晚会筹委会主席在麦当劳开个小小的会议。。。睡眠时间都没超过5个小时的我。。。懵懵懂懂地去了。。。由于主席有事请耽误了，就迟来了几分钟。。。很闷的关系，我一直在玩露婵的茶。。。太贪玩了，所以有稍微的被热热的茶烫到了。。。得叫露婵还我医药费哦~

不久，主席大驾光临。。。我们的会议，不闷，在严肃里，少不了些小小的好玩插曲。。。当然，我们更开怀大笑。。。我们也谈了不少的话题。。。让我们这三位华乐的“股东”更了解彼此。。。吃了过后，我们就到百盛去找赞助商。。。我们互相推三阻四，因为不敢上前问。。。我们叫主席喽~他呀。。。很无言。。。在上前问之前，他佩戴他所谓会让他变得更严肃的眼镜。。。感觉上，在他们眼里，我们只是战队里小小的小卒。。。所以根本没有把我们当成一回事。。。那位经理助手叫我们写一封公函，然后交给他，再由他来告诉我们他们的答案。。。哼！不用紧。。。我们会让他们大跌眼镜的。。。哈哈

过后，我随露婵去享用她的午餐。。。哈！她好爱吃汉堡哦~我想，下次她生日，我就请她吃汉堡就好了~~ 哈哈。。。过了以后，我们就到最下一层等我妈。。。在我到Dyslexia中心去探望我的几位可爱的小朋友们。。。今天，还好啦。。。没有不愉快的事情发生。。。只是我和伟杰(shannon)的感情增进了不少哦~ 哈哈。。。原本一位很乖巧又很静的他，不善于和我们打交道。。。不过，今天啊，他可是说更我们打成一片哦。。。我啊，简直高兴都来不及。。。能认识多一位可爱小朋友，使我人生的其一很喜悦的事情哦。。。他还叫我去他家在他生日的时候，不过我想我也来不及了啦。。。还有这样长的时间，一定会被遗忘的啦。。。希望他还记得我喽。。。还有，他也很想念恐龙哦。。。一直叫我们下个星期记得带恐龙去。。。想必若恐龙看到这里，应该或多或少有甜甜的微笑吧。。。哈哈。。。

在回家的途中，我简直是仿佛做了一天的粗工，累得不知如何是好。。。露婵回我家。。。我只能躺在沙发上，眼睁睁的看着她和我弟、我妹玩。。。多想直接闭上眼睛，进入我的梦乡。。。她回家后，我就冲个凉，让我自己有精神点。。。不过，却在预料之外，一边观赏电视剧一边睡觉。。。哈哈。。。过后，就没什么啦。。。哦对。。。刚才看了一部新加坡的一部电影。。《小孩不笨2》。。。虽然一直在重复的看着，不过我始终感触良多。。。这就是为什么我喜爱看新加坡的电影和电视剧啦。。。

刚刚打开电脑，看到一玲留给我的讯息。。。就会了她。。。我只能说现在由于我的堂妹们从马六甲远道而回，我不能不跟她们好好的聊一下生活的点点滴滴嘛。。。得陪陪她们。。。毕竟她们回来的时间也不是很长。。。假期有了她们总觉得没有以前那样闷了。。。不过也因为这样，我和我的亲爱的朋友们少了很多的联络。。。因为我不是能很长在大概介于8时到11时开电脑。。。我只能在大概凌晨时开一下罢了。。。我怕距离会越来越遥远。。。没话题沟通时，我就可惨了。。。所以我只能道歉咯。。。在忍多几个星期，我就能恢复平常的作息了。。。嘻嘻。。。那时可别怪我很吵哦。。。哈哈。。。拜！晚安~ :o)

一箩箩的问题。。。

前天，我在担心“他”的问题。。。昨天，“他”的问题已经解决。。。我以为我终于可以放下所有的烦恼、担心，好好享受我的假期。。。就在今天问题又出现了。。。为什么这些问题不会停止出现？？

我明白我的问题没有比他的遭遇坏，不过我只希望这一切能够很顺利。。。但却换来一大堆的问题。。。在前几个星期，我还以为我的问题应该都能解决，能做个了断。。。可是也不是我想象的一样。。。不过，经过他的事，我觉得我得到了很大的启示。。。他既然遇到那么坏的遭遇，却也硬着头皮走过它。。。何况是我的芝麻绿豆小事呢？我想我应该能吧。。。我就得靠我自己咯。。。坚强！不应有悲观的想法！加油！希望我的问题会是山重水复疑无路，柳暗花明有一春喽~

没事做的假期把我折腾得很累很累。。。电视都快给我看到要烂了，却还是满足不了我的闷。。。真搞不懂我要的是什么。。。或许是个能在闷的时候和我讲话的朋友吧。。。不过，我的朋友们啊，都有各自的东西在忙，所以就没办法咯。。。认识我的朋友都懂，当我很闲空，没有东西做时，都会想些有的没的的东西。。。哈哈。。。今天，也没想太多啦。。。只是在为我的问题在烦罢了，在想它几时才能解决。。。几时才能享受无忧无虑休闲的日子？哈哈。。。我想我现在可能是闷到发疯了。。。才会说些有的没的。。。

还有，昨天，看了我扬琴师傅，多利斯的部落格后。。。哇，她华语超好的。。。羡慕死了！昨天，我听说， PMR 的成绩将在圣诞节前公布。。。我的天啊~ 为什么要在那么欢乐的日子前公布？？我要好好的享受我的圣诞节。。。享受过了，公布也还不迟呀。。。海。。。很担心我的国语，不懂靠到怎样。。。应该也没有straight A's 了吧。。。那我的假期应该开开心心的笑。。。因为我怕成绩公布时，就不能笑了。。。

听我的恐龙弟说他和他的哥哥将执行一个很重要又很刺激的任务。。。他这个人啊也真是的，要在那么危险的环境搬家。。。也不想想有多么的危险。。。却还跟我说很好玩，很有趣。。。真的茶点给他气死，吐血。。。不过，我也不能做什么啦。。。就希望那一天他们能够安安全全的完成他们的“重要任务”咯~祝你们好运！！

昨晚，有很多的东西要跟朋友分享。。。可是，看来没人有空。。。可是，不说又睡不着。。。只好一个一个朋友去问。。。刚好，我问“爱猫使者”。。。她说有空。。。可是，很吃亏的，给她作弄了一次又一次。。。哈哈。。。下次，她就懂。。。好奇吧？那我就留到下次才来讲吧。。。哈哈。。。

今天，原本说好要和猴子一起出去的。。。不过，因为没有人载会的问题，我们被逼取消。。。下次再去。。。留在家里，玩电脑。。。这是我第一次用华语写部落格。。。感觉还不错。。。只是得花上更多的时间。。。写的也够多了吧。。。只能说有再多的问题，只要乐观的面对，就会好过些。。。对于我这种悲观的人来说，确实有点难，不过我会加油的！！那，下次再聊咯。。。拜！

yesterday...

yesterday me, dino, kitty, and audrey went to a Dyslexia centre at Tabuan Dusun... at first, we were so shy and didnt even know what to do... well, for those kids who have Dyslexia, they have slow reading and slow learning problems... some of them may act like kids... although they have this problems like this but they seem to be happy... they wont because they have this kind of problems and underestimate themselves... this is what i impressed of...

we met 6 childrens... Azizul, Zhang Yao, Martin, Scott, Shanon, and Darren... we were asked to take one of them and taught them something... by the way, yesterday was the first day we been there... of course we had some communication problem with them... i took Darren who is Form 4 this year and who love High School Musical a lot... before we were waiting Mrs Yong to come... i saw him... he gave me a bad impression that he was so bad and rude... but after i communicated with him, i found that he isn't as bad as i thought... he was good... and whatever i asked him to do he will just say yes... and he was good to me... i asked him something about himself and his family... surprisingly he told me all... so i taught him read...

on the other hand, Dino was very lucky enough... he took Shanon who has same interest like him... "Enthusiatics in Airplanes"... new disease... haha... Shanon is so cute... although he is 11 years old but he look like a kindergarten kids.... so cute...

Kitty was unfortunate... she took Scott... she couldnt teach him anything since Scott was too naughty for her to look after... he like to throw things around... being scarcastics... he just cant sit quietly and listen to what Kitty had taught... Kitty seem so helpless...

Audrey took another kid whom I had forgot his name... he seem ok...

in the centre, i met my old classmate, Ke Ching... i still can recognise her... 'cause she didnt change at all... we waved to each other and said Hi! *of course*... at the end of the lesson, we thought that we had to help them to clean the class... but a teacher whom I had also forgot his name called us to stop and ask the kids to clean it up... after that, that's the end of the day... the teacher thank us and asked us whether we are going next friday... so, we, of course decided that we are going next friday... 'cause it's better stayin at home and do nothing...

i wish to see them again... and having fun together too...

the way life goes...

today... i went watch movie with friends... since this was the last time we saw michelle this year... we went for a long walk before the movie starts... then we went to eat... while eating, we tried to find some topics to talk... anyhow, we still couldnt stop talking at that topic...

before today... i talked to dino that we should make a comparison between him and her... it might help us feel better... but does it work?? i also dont know... 'cause for me, it's just a way for me to find excuse not to think about it... when it comes to reality life, it does make me feel better... so i will choose not to face it... i know that this comparison is not fair for him, 'cause this is the way he goes... i cant control him... i just can only advise him but not forcing him to the way he should have gone... i hope one day he really can understand everything single thing we did to him...

is he a best friend for you?? is he who you can depends on forever?? is he who you can trust?? i thought i can answer all of it... but now, i lost all my answer... when i try not to think about him... a message from him will just put off everything... a no-reply may make me think more... i think now i seems like healing more than frustrating... whenever he dont contact with me, i'll forget him... is he not important for you?? why you forget him?? he was important for me before... 'cause i miss last time when he WAS so good... he MADE my day whenever i had a bad mood... now, these things seem light years away... although i miss but i still dont know what to do...

when i try to give up in this game, i'll tell myself not to give up but give yourself and him a chance... he may take your last chance and change... but he made me dissapointed for times and times... he didnt realised... should i give him another chance?? i dont hope you can be perfect but at least better...

i like my life now... 'cause although it's bored... but at least i am not as frustrated as i used to be... 'cause i realised... in this world, there are more and more people who are better... like friends who i feel can accompany me to walk in my entire life... friends who are very great... very Fabulous... THEY understand me... THEY are perfect enough in my heart... THEY dont leave me alone in the dark... ... i hope everything is just not for the short time... but last longer than i think it will be...

I really Did wrong... Sorry

Yesterday... While I am chatting with Dino... Keep on thinking what had really happen to him?? why he change so suddenly?? i thought that was his mistake... as he is climbing higher, we are getting further... this is my concept... but i didnt realised that i did a lot of mistake... when i knew that he feel he was left out... my heart sank... i know that feeling... i ever came across that... it was so bad...

From last night, i realised that i am the one who is torturing him long time ago... This is what i had done so wrongly... i am not suppose to suspect him that he had change... i maybe the one who cause him to change... why everything seems repeating repeating and repeating...?? wont it just stop?? these are all my fault... i cant forgive myself since i did so many wrong... i remembered Dino said that i have to give myself a chance and try to trust myself... all i know is... when i started to give myself a chance and try to trust myself... everything gone wrong...

Sorry, friend... i dont beg for your forgiveness... 'cause this is really wrong... i didnt realised it... sorry... it's my fault... you should have been so happy around... i think you would be happier as if you didnt know me... 'cause i always abandoned you and didnt noticed you were alone that long time... sorry... i am the one who didnt appreciate you... you are too precious for me... i cant trust myself to handle it anymore... you were part of my beautiful memorise... i hope u will be happier from now on... if you feel happier when i am out of your memorise... you can just pull me out... i caused lots of frustration for you... i am sorry... i didnt mean it...

Last time, i just wanted you to change so treated you so badly... this maybe one of the excused for you... but i really wish to see you change... i thought you changed back to him... but then i realised was not you had changed... but i had abandoned you that made you feel so out when we're talking... i hope we three can have a talk together to solve this misunderstanding... but i guess... i cant as i did wrong... sorry... now i think, i should really leave you alone to give you time to think...
this told me that... i shouldnt want a person to change... i should let him freely... but not forced him or her to change... this cause pressure to that person... and leave out him or her... i'll never do it again... im sorry for everything...

Besides, i want to thank a person who taught me so many things... he taught me to be strong whatever happened... he let me know that i am not standing alone... i am really lucky to have a friends like this... this is the most most most precious present i ever had in this year... now, what i can do is wait... wait for time to solve it for me... wait for the him to think... sorry...