today... i went watch movie with friends... since this was the last time we saw michelle this year... we went for a long walk before the movie starts... then we went to eat... while eating, we tried to find some topics to talk... anyhow, we still couldnt stop talking at that topic...
before today... i talked to dino that we should make a comparison between him and her... it might help us feel better... but does it work?? i also dont know... 'cause for me, it's just a way for me to find excuse not to think about it... when it comes to reality life, it does make me feel better... so i will choose not to face it... i know that this comparison is not fair for him, 'cause this is the way he goes... i cant control him... i just can only advise him but not forcing him to the way he should have gone... i hope one day he really can understand everything single thing we did to him...
is he a best friend for you?? is he who you can depends on forever?? is he who you can trust?? i thought i can answer all of it... but now, i lost all my answer... when i try not to think about him... a message from him will just put off everything... a no-reply may make me think more... i think now i seems like healing more than frustrating... whenever he dont contact with me, i'll forget him... is he not important for you?? why you forget him?? he was important for me before... 'cause i miss last time when he WAS so good... he MADE my day whenever i had a bad mood... now, these things seem light years away... although i miss but i still dont know what to do...
when i try to give up in this game, i'll tell myself not to give up but give yourself and him a chance... he may take your last chance and change... but he made me dissapointed for times and times... he didnt realised... should i give him another chance?? i dont hope you can be perfect but at least better...
i like my life now... 'cause although it's bored... but at least i am not as frustrated as i used to be... 'cause i realised... in this world, there are more and more people who are better... like friends who i feel can accompany me to walk in my entire life... friends who are very great... very Fabulous... THEY understand me... THEY are perfect enough in my heart... THEY dont leave me alone in the dark... ... i hope everything is just not for the short time... but last longer than i think it will be...
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